Question:
I hate my life. I want to fix it, but I don't know how or where to start?
2009-05-13 12:43:21 UTC
I'll just start from a while back. Extremely long, you don't have to answer, I just have a lot of things to say and you don't have to read it all. I doubt anyone will read this, but any answers are appreciated.

When I was a baby, my siblings hated me. That's not really unusual at all, but they really enjoyed scaring me and hurting me. They would tell me about all of the monsters that lived in my area, and would team up against me to pretend to be these monsters. When an exciting carnival came to town, they told me that pirates were coming to town to kill small children, and made me pick a ride to die on and write my own will. That was around the age of four.

Around the age of six, I started school. Every day before school, I would cry and cry because I didn't want to wake up. I don't think a day went by that my entire face wasn't wet. Of course, when I got home, my parents would be extremely angry with me for being upset in the morning. They'd be upset for quite some time sometimes. One day, when I wanted to play hide and go seek before school, my mother slapped me across my face.

I was not allowed to be upset over anything. When I was, my mother would get that angry upset look and say, "I know, everyone hates me. I'm such an awful person. I know, you hate me." and I would have to start saying, "no mommy, I don't hate you. I love you." It was my responsibility, ever since I started school.

When I was 9, my sister became anorexic. My parents would sit with her in the kitchen, jabbing her arm with pens, hitting her and yelling at her for hours to get her to eat. It didn't work. My brother became severely depressed and violent, throwing things around if he didn't get to eat junk food, there were holes in the walls from arguments. I would watch my sister get hit from my window which was across from hers, and watch her cry. I'd try to forget about it by watching TV but I was always afraid that I was dying, it felt like my throat was closing up so I had to stop, and I sat by my bed and prayed all night. One night, I remember my sister coming into my room, which I shared with my parents, with a guitar. I remember hearing she was going to kill me and my father with it, but that my parents were awake and stopped her, but I don't believe she would do that that. I have convinced myself that it was a dream. I cried a lot, and I had anger problems as well. I remember cutting a chunk out of a dress of mine out of anger, and putting a pillow over my head in hopes that I would choke at the age of around 7.

After a while, I don't know how long, my sister went to the hospital. I was the only one she would respond to, so I visited her at the hospital every day after the fourth grade, it was around a 40-minute drive. Most of my day after school was spent there.

I was the good child to my mother, at an early age. She would fight with my father in front of me for hours, in cars or anywhere, and she would say that my father would take my teenage siblings, and she would take me and move far away. For some strange reason this made me special. Around the age of 11, when I hit puberty, this changed. My siblings were now 16 and 17 and had moved out, and my mother planned on moving out alone without me. This was around the time where I remember she began getting angrier with me, hitting me, pinching me, yelling at me, shoving me, shaking me. Not every day at all, it wasn't abuse, but it was scary. One day I was afraid she would kill me, it all ended with her throwing everything in my room on the floor and yelling at me to clean it up, so I did for a few hours, and my heart would race every time someone passed the room.

When I was 11, I moved to a country that I hate, I'd do anything to live in the states again. I made some friends, was backstabbed by them, ignored every single day by them, then they begged me to be their friend again, blamed everything on me, and finally stopped talking to me again. I have nothing now. I planned my suicide when I was 12. I watched 90210 every single day, and I was going to kill myself with gas, like the woman in the car was going to do with Kelly. I cried every single night, sometimes for absolutely no reason, and many times at school.

Now, I am 16. I have never told anyone about this, although CPS was involved with my family a while back. I don't remember it, my brother does. I have to go see a counselor, and she keeps trying to say that I'm anti-social, I'm really not. She also keeps hinting at the fact that I have no social skills. I do have social skills, and I do have emotional needs, and being around this woman makes me want to cry. I don't have a lot of friends because I don't have anything in common with them. I have social skills, I do interact with people, I'm just introverted and I have issues trusting people. She keeps discouraging me from being in classes where I have to be social, even though she doesn't know me. She is forcing me to see her, and forcing her
Eight answers:
Strokes Kink
2009-05-13 19:29:35 UTC
Well... sh*t happens in life and it definately sucks.



I know many people have told you sorry but I know that doesn't help.



I can understand what you're going through because my mom used to be almost the same way. Not abusing me but always yelling at me and blaming me for whatever it is that happens.

I had the same feeling, fear.

Fear of my own mother who had given me life, but when she becomes this way, she seems like a monster.



It's good to know that someone out there can relate to you(me) and this is not only happening to you but many other teens also.



See, have you ever tried to talk to your mother?

Like a heart-to-heart, I mean, afterall she is your mother and she is a human-being, there's GOT TO BE some moral value in her for her to understand your pain.



And if you do talk to her, please please tell her that yelling + screaming+ all the fighting DOESN'T SOLVE PROBLEMS.

No matter how angry you are, hitting others (especially her own daughter) doesn't make her any happier and neither does it make you.
mother at 36
2009-05-13 13:29:23 UTC
You have to really find a different counselor, somebody you feel more comfortable with. I was very shy and anti-social when I was a kid. I even flunked 9th grade speech class because I didn't want to get up in front of the class. I eventually became a cheerleader, and joined some clubs in school and made some really good friends. Cheer-leading really helped me to come out of my shyness. I went to counseling and learned alot about myself and why I am the way I am. Sometime it's not what you want to hear but you have to than begin working on it, to become a better person. Now I am me, a say what is on my mind, honest, fun, caring person. I am a bartender that can get along with everybody but can be firm with people if I have to and am very confident with myself. Just find a different counselor to help you become the person you dream of being, and you have to work thru your childhood problems. A lot of things happened there that you need to deal with. Good luck. You can do it.
peanut
2009-05-13 12:51:00 UTC
You should switch to another councilor. That one is not helping you.
2009-05-13 16:12:58 UTC
I'm so sorry! Nobody should ever have to go through what you have gone through. I cannot imagine how you must feel or how hard it must be for you to have to deal with all of that. I am an introvert too, and being really social can be exhausting. You should see about switching to a new counselor. They are suppose to help you, and guide you, not tell you that there are things wrong with you, cause there are things wrong with everyone, including your counselor and there is nothing wrong with being who you are. You are young and you are still growing and learning, you cant be expected to know how to do everything now. I wish there was something I could say that would help you or guide you to something better in life. All I can think to say is don't give up! The way that people have taken advantage of you is horrible, sick and not right at all. But do what you can to make it better. You may not be able to fix the past or change the people in your life to treat you better, but you can change yourself and you can find hope. Things can change and get better. If you have any chance to get away from the things that are bringing you down don't take it for granted. Just keep trying and keep loving yourself. Don't ever give up on yourself or believe that any of this is your fault. It will only make you stronger, just listen to your intuition. I have learned a lot from my mistakes and my past. I take the crappy things life gives me and I learn how to make something better out of it. Just never let go of your hope. Its powerful.
nursienurse
2009-05-13 13:41:56 UTC
I'm sorry your life has been so hard. You have been abused by your mother (hitting, pinching, shoving,yelling, etc), and your siblings when they were scaring and hurting you. They were most likely just doing to you what had been done to them by your parents.



It doesn't sound like your councilor is helping you. Can you get another one? You can call and speak with a supervisor and tell them you want another one. Just say you don't feel comfortable with the one you have now. Tell the supervisor that you feel depressed and suicidal after seeing your councilor.



I wouldn't be surprised if you were introverted as you haven't had many positive experiences with the important people in your life. You need a more sympathetic councilor and one who lets you express your feeling and listens to you.



Have you seen a doctor? You are showing signs of depression. You may need a referral to a clinic or psychiatrist that can address your symptoms and offer medication and psychiatric therapy.



It is important for you to continue with counseling as you have many issues to get through. You can help yourself by reading some material

at the Library. They can order some if they don't have what you want on the shelves. Here are some titles that may help (I haven't read them): Life Happens, How to let go of your mad baggage, Don't be S.A.D. Ask your school councilor for some help and/or books.
2016-02-28 07:07:37 UTC
You sound just like me. I'm 19, was diagnosed with clinical depression last year but have had it for a few years prior to that. It is mostly based on my lack of self-esteem too, and I also tell myself things like, "it could be worse, you're a lot better off than most people" too! So I can completely relate to you. However, I can't really give any decent advice. Not even I can fully understand what you're feeling because everyone is different and is effected by things in different ways. I have good days and bad days, but I used to be in a constant bad place. All I can really talk about is my own experience, I'm not a professional and I'm not going to pretend like everything is just going to be ok. The way I got out of my depression was getting a job believe it or not. I worked part time at a nightclub during the weekends and it was a way of starting new. No one knew me or what was wrong with me, so I could really play on being the best person I could be in a new situation. The only way to get out of that kind of depression is to literally drag yourself out of it, and with a commitment such as a new job, in a way you are forced to get out of the house and interact with new people. The depression is all psychological, and only you can help yourself. I know this isn't any great advice, but from experience no one can give you any advice that you'll take on. It's all down to you.
DigitalMiracle
2009-05-13 13:21:40 UTC
Funny enough, I think you should change your counselor. All lame joknig aside, I find it extremely sad that you had to live your life like that. You only get one shot, and I all blew up in your face. I suggest seeing a therapist. A guidance counselor isn't enough.
tha1uneed2481
2009-05-13 13:13:24 UTC
Smoke some weed, and see if iit dont help the quality of ur life. Its not a drug, its a dam plant.


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